As I spend more and more time locked away from the world in my cute kitchen, safe from the crazies outside with their baseball bats, handguns, and mental instability, it is certainly comforting to be surrounded by friendly kitchen equipment.
Meet the Acme Supreme Juicerator.
You read that right. It's actually called the Juicerator. Have a closer look.
The Juicerator is like a dream. It weighs about a ton. You could likely drop it from your roof maiming or killing passersby or destroying motorized vehicles, and your juicer would have nary a scratch. It's made almost entirely of metal, meaning very few parts to wear out or simply break. This thing is nearly indestructible. It also makes killer juice.
Older household goods were made to last while the newer stuff is made to die. How else can a company hope to get repeat customers? This here juicerator is several decades old. I assumed that they didn't make em like this any more. But digging a little I learned that the juicerator is still in production, I believe in its all metal form. It will cost you a few hundred bucks though. It makes short work of fruits, vegetables, and the fingers of children young and old. Take these carrots for example.
79 cents a bag makes for a deliciously cheap cup of juice. Place a carrot down into the top slot
onto the spinning toothed blade.
There really is nothing like fresh juice. Once you try it, it gets very hard to pay an arm and a leg for the inferior pasteurized stuff, or the very expensive fresh glass in one of your local juice shops.
My mother taught me about how the vitamin A in carrots is good for one's eye sight. She's right of course, but maybe more importantly, carrot juice is the best thing you've ever tasted. I recommend you get your hands on a juicer, buy a few carrots, and make some carrot juice. It will help you see who or what's coming your way on the increasingly dangerous city streets. Watch out!